We snowshoe!

Snow is lovely. Snowshoeing is a great pleasure here in the suburban Midwest where there's no downhill skiing and few places to cross-country ski (plus, no ski gear.) So we snowshoe!

Today, that involved the following:

1. Find snowboarding pants purchased from junior's section at Target. Put them on. Reflect that even XL juniors do not have post-childbirthing hips.

2. Look for snowshoes in garage. Find none. Think to self, "Hmm, maybe they're in the attic." Look for flashlight in the place where it generally lives. Do not find it. Find other, weaker flashlight. Forge in attic. Find only spouse's snowshoes, and figure they'll work in a pinch. Haul them down from attic while fielding questions about something son is holding that you actually can't see: "Mama? What IS dis? Dis! Dis dat I'm holding!"

3. Pursuade kid that he needs to wear snowpants. Wrangle him into them.

4. Consider downloading photo uploading software onto laptop to work around current softwear FUBAR on desktop computer which precludes downloading from digital camera and thus renders blog less interesting visually. Reject this as not central to the project at hand. Take cellphone instead to document this, the first snowshoeing of the season.

5. Find kid's snowshoes. Debate saving them for Christmas and letting him use big sister's snowshoes; reflect that bigger kid snowshoes have spiky spikes on them. Open kid's spike-lacking snowshoes. Soothe tantrum that results from opening Christmas presents early. [WTH? Whose kid *is* this? Must revisit nature/nurture debate at later point.]

6. Get kid in boots. Get self in boots. Locate mittens. Drag kid, self, two pairs of snowshoes, and snack kid insists on bringing with, plus cellphone, outside. Snack is a small apple and a granola bar. Put snack in coat pocket over kid's protests.

7. Walk across the street to open space near church where showshoing should be fun.

8. Strap kid into snowshoes. Strap self into spouse's snowshoes. Reflect that spouse has some bitching snowshoes. Snap cell phone photo while kid is still happy, a 30-second window.

9. Enjoy 29 more seconds of pleasurable snowshoeing.

10. Pick up wailing, unhappy kid and carry him for about 30 more seconds, marvelling over the fun of snowshoeing and the pure joy of being outdoors in the first snow of the season.

11. Take snowshoes off self and kid. Walk back across street. Go inside, give kid snack, forward pictures to self, blog contentedly.